On Da Bus

There lives a little old lady on Hanover. She drives with her seat fully reclined. It makes no sense. I don’t see how that’s very comfortable or safe. When she gets out of her car and walks, she walks a half an inch at a time. I worry about her.

Don’t sit in the handicap section.

Don’t forget your iPod or mp3 player or book or newspaper or *something* to entertain yourself with.

Be nice to your bus driver.

Smile but don’t say anything. You never know what kind of weird conversation you’ll get pulled into.

If you are reading a book, do not become engrossed! It will make you miss your stop. (true story)

sunshine will make you vomit

On my lunch break this past Tuesday, I walked to the library on Franklin St. I figured I’d check out a few books and then eat lunch at the park behind the library. I had my pb&j, some chips and a bottle of water in my purse and a few books in mind. I was ready.

I went into the library, checked out a few books, chatted with one of the librarians, walked around back where the park is located, sat down on a bench and proceeded to eat my lunch. A few chips and bites of my pb&j later a woman that had been sitting across the park from me did the follow: she put her book down, calmly stood up, walked over to the trash can, vomited, wiped her mouth, walked back to her bench, sat down, picked up her book and continued reading AS IF SHE HADN’T JUST RANDOMLY VOMITED IN PUBLIC!!

There are no words except – This city sure does keep it interesting…

Things I Know About Richmond, Va.

In no particular order, rhyme or reason, I give you a list of things I’ve noticed while living here. I’m sure I’ll update it often.

– It’s pronounced Po-white.

– Powhite Parkway has to be the most expensive parkway in Virginia to drive on.

– The winter seems to last forever.

– Spring is an interesting mix of warm, sunshine days and cold, grey days.

– Do not put your sweaters and scarfs away when the first warm day comes around. It’s just a false alarm. There will be more coldness.

– Even when it’s officially Summer, it’s not very hot.

– People will give you directions based on what used to be there, not what currently is (an example “Go up til you get to where Thalimer’s used to be and then you want to turn left where that pub used to be…”) Not helpful if you’re new to the area.

– When Maymont is packed and you can’t find parking, go to Hollywood Cemetery or the Capital Lawn.

– PBR is the beer of choice. Of course everyone under the age of 30 calls it PBR. Everyone over the age of 30 calls it Pabst Blue Ribbon. Either way, Sticky Rice only charges a dollar for a PBR on rainy days.

– When the weather forecast calls for snow or bad weather of any kind, there will not be a loaf of bread or gallon of milk left in the grocery stores an hour after the announcement.

– If you go out to eat, you do not eat at a chain restaurant. They are evil. Eat local.

– Rt. 1 is Brook Rd.

– If you go past 288, you’ve gone too far, turn around.

– I-64 splits to the left, I-95 to the right. This is a key piece of information depending on which side of Parham or Staples Mill you need to be on.

– The West End has two parts: 1) the West End, and 2) the Far West End. The Far West End is really just Short Pump. Just past Short Pump is Innsbrook. Innsbrook is also referred to as the Far, Far West End. The distance between where The West End starts and the Far, Far West End ends is vast.

– Don’t ever, ever, ever try to go to Short Pump during peak hours if it is not absolutely necessary. Or on the weekends. It’s just not worth the stress. Or possible insurance claim.

– Don’t eat the seafood; the ocean is an hour away, at best. The fact that the James River runs through Richmond does not make this a seafood town.

– Richmond will turn you into a foodie. It will spoil you and make you think that all cities should have such a wide variety of independent restaurants.

– This town isn’t as Southern as it thinks it is.

– If you didn’t have allergies before moving here, you will.